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Tales of the AAA/Brandon
''Brandon'' "Okay...", Pilaf said, "...that may have taken longer than we expected... but finally... OUR MECH SUITS ARE COMPLETE!" "Yay.", Mai and Shu both said, sitting in their mech suits, unenthused. "So here's the plan.", Pilaf said. "There's a bounty of 30 million Berries on Grimmjow's head. So if we kill him, we'll be heroes in the eyes of the World Government! The hard part is getting those Berries converted into zeni..." "But Lord Pilaf...", Mai said, "...there's other bounty hunters after Grimmjow's head! And a lot of them are more powerful than us!" "Mai's right.", Shu said. "Last week Mr. 5 and Ms. Valentine were killed by Braden." "That's precisely it.", Pilaf said. "We're weaker than them. The admins will underestimate us. And then we'll sneak in and kill Grimmjow, just like that!" "I have to admit...", Mai said, "...this is pretty well thought out for you..." "Just shut up and follow me.", Pilaf said. BRANDON "Pilaf is such an IDIOT!", Brandon shouted as he punched a 2x4 made of bricks in two. "Calm down, Brandon.", Brandon's girlfriend Kanu Unchou said. "You can take him down with no effort." "No I can't, Kanu.", Brandon said. "That mecha suit has an exoskeleton stronger than I can cut through. I'll have to train tirelessly if I want to put Pilaf down." "Remind him why you are an admin, Brandon.", Kanu said. "Then kill him." They both heard the door open. It was Braden. "I heard something breaking and someone shout IDIOT.", Braden said. "What's up?" "Pilaf's planning to fight us.", Brandon said. "How do you know?", Braden asked. "I read the scene before this.", Brandon said before grabbing a pistol and firing it into a firing range with 4Kids targets. "Now Pilaf just has to say WHERE he's planning to fight us." "How did you read 'the scene before this'?", Braden asked. "Do you know ANYTHING about me?", Brandon asked. #### Pilaf, Mai, and Shu were walking alongside the bank of the Mississippi River. "Lord Pilaf, where are we headed?", Mai asked. Pilaf pointed towards a bridge that was above them. "That bridge?", Shu asked. "Why?" "Mai, Shu...", Pilaf said, "...do you know where the Admin Tower is located?" "...you don't know?", Shu asked. "Do YOU know?", Pilaf asked. "No.", Shu said. "Mai, do you?", Pilaf asked. Mai thought for a bit. "No.", she said. "Have you ever heard of the Seattle Space Needle?", Pilaf asked. "THAT'S the Admin Tower?!", Mai asked in shock. "Yes.", Pilaf said. "And that's where we are headed." Pilaf, Mai, and Shu used the springs in their mecha suits' legs, allowing them to jump onto the bridge. #### "Did you read that, Kanu?", Brandon asked. "They're headed to Seattle! I've got to get them away from the Admin Tower!" "But where will you go?", Kanu asked. "Wherever fate takes me.", Brandon said. Brandon and Kanu kissed, then Brandon walked down the spiral staircase into the lobby. #### Brandon popped his head out of the floor, his Deadpool suit covered in dirt. Walking towards him was a man with a beard and glasses, a black vest, a white undershirt, dark blue jeans, and a very amateurishly done tie. "I feel like I've seen you before.", Brandon said. "Oh, look, a cosplayer.", the man said. "Could you mind telling me where I am?", Brandon asked. "You're in Chicago.", the man said. "Chicago?!", Brandon asked. "I KNEW I should've made that left turn at Albuquerque!" "Are you for real?", the man asked. "Seriously, who ARE you?", Brandon asked. "Oh, me?", the man asked. "I'm the Nostalgia Critic." Brandon stared at the Nostalgia Critic for several seconds. "So when are you reviewing--?", Brandon asked. "NO!", the Nostalgia Critic shouted. Everyone in the airport looked at them. "I wasn't here.", Brandon said before he ran out the building. #### "What do you mean, 'Brandon's not here'?!", Pilaf asked. "Brandon is not here.", Kanu said. "How many times do I have to tell you?" "Well, where did he go?", Mai asked. "Wherever fate takes him.", Kanu said. "Come on, you two.", Pilaf said. "Let fate lead the way!" The three ran down the spiral staircase while still in their mecha suits, damaging the stairs some. Kanu slammed the door, then called a number. "Hello?", Bailey asked on the other end. #### Pilaf popped out of the hole that Brandon created hours earlier. "I knew we should've made that left turn at Albuquerque!", Pilaf shouted. The Nostalgia Critic, who was still at the airport as his flight was delayed, looked on confusingly as Pilaf helped Mai and Shu out of the hole. The Nostalgia Critic got a good look at Pilaf's face and groaned. "What's wrong?", Pilaf asked, walking over to the Critic. "You're in that shitty Dragon Ball Z anime, aren't you?", the Critic asked. "He just said Dragon Ball Z sucks!", Pilaf shouted. "I, Pilaf, shall smite him!" Pilaf pointed several machine guns in his mecha suit at the Critic and shot him through the wall. Pilaf walked through the hole, examining Chicago before him. Pilaf then looked to his left, shocked to see Brandon leaning against the wall, taking pictures of himself and photoshopping himself into dresses. "Uh, what are you doing?", Pilaf asked. Brandon looked over, then gasped in delight. "¡Hola!", Brandon shouted. "Mi nombre es la piscina de la muerte! There's no easy way to tell you this, Pilaf... I'm pregnant." The three stared at Brandon for a couple seconds. "What?", Pilaf, Mai, and Shu all asked in confusion. Brandon pulled out his two swords and ran towards Pilaf, screaming like a girl. "Fire!", Pilaf shouted. The three fired upon Brandon, but their bullets did next to nothing to him. Brandon then grabbed the sun and threw it into the sky, making it 2:30 P.M. "How the hell did you--?!", Pilaf asked. "You know NOTHING about me, do you?", Brandon asked. He raised his swords and resumed to run towards Pilaf. Brandon sliced off a small piece of metal from the right leg of Pilaf's mecha suit. "WHAT?!", Pilaf asked. "This is steel! How did you cut through it?!" Suddenly, two figures landed behind Brandon. Brandon turned around. Bailey and Grimmjow were standing behind him. Pilaf looked at Grimmjow in shock. "That's him!", Pilaf shouted. "The one with the 30 million Berry bounty! That's the one we're after! Screw Brandon, let's fight HIM!" Bailey and Grimmjow leaped into the air. Bailey began to fight Mai, while Grimmjow fought Shu. Brandon took Pilaf. "Grind.", Grimmjow said. "Grind what?", Shu asked. Grimmjow's appearance suddenly became more cat-like. "Is this because I'm a dog?", Shu asked. "Desgarrón!", Grimmjow shouted. The claws on Grimmjow's arms became longer. Shu looked in shock as Grimmjow slashed across the chest of Shu's mecha suit. It separated into pieces and exploded. "Hmph.", Grimmjow said, turning back into his normal appearance. "Didn't even last one hit. What a shame." "No! Shu!", Pilaf shouted. "You bastard! You killed my friend!" Meanwhile, Mai was firing machine gun rounds at Bailey. Bailey, however, was slicing them all in half. Bailey's sword began to glow. "Getsuga...", Bailey started, raising his sword. "NO!", Mai shouted. "...Tenshō!", Bailey finished, swinging his sword. A large blast of energy came out of Bailey's sword, slicing Mai's mecha suit in half. Mai screamed before her mecha suit exploded, killing her in the explosion. "MAI!", Pilaf shouted. "NO!" Brandon headbutted Pilaf's mecha suit. "OW!", Brandon shouted, holding his head. "THAT HURT, DAMMIT!" "Why are you wearing that outfit, by the way?", Pilaf asked. "Do you see me bleeding?", Brandon asked. "...no.", Pilaf said. "Exactly!", Brandon said as he chipped off another small piece from Pilaf's mecha suit. "Damn you!", Pilaf shouted. "First you kill my friends, then you try and tear apart my mecha suit! I'll be glad when I'm finally paid that 30 million Berry bounty--!" Suddenly, a Getsuga Tenshō from Bailey destroyed Pilaf's mecha suit, sending Pilaf flying onto the roof of a building. Bailey and Grimmjow, carrying Brandon, flew onto the roof of said building. "Alright, Pilaf.", Brandon said, pointing his sword at Pilaf. "You're done, like 4Kids. Now give up, like 4Kids should've." "Give up?", Pilaf asked, laughing. "GIVE UP?! You want me to GIVE UP?! I'd rather DIE than give up! In fact..." Without warning, Pilaf turned around and jumped off the edge of the building. Pilaf fell 10 stories before landing onto a car, setting off its alarm. The three admins looked down in shock. "Damn...", Brandon said solemnly, putting his sword back into its sheath. "Let's go home, guys.", Bailey said. Brandon climbed back onto Grimmjow, and the other two admins flew off. #### "So, Brandon...", Braden asked. "...what do you look like underneath the suit?" Brandon pulled off the Deadpool mask. His face reminded Braden of a prune, or a person's finger right after getting out of the shower. "You are HAUNTING.", Braden said. "Like the 4Kids dub of One Piece?", Brandon asked. "You look like an avocado had sex with an older avocado.", Braden said. Brandon stared at him for a couple seconds. "Thank you.", he said sarcastically, flipping back on the mask. Braden looked at his food. "You can have the rest.", he said. "I've decided I'm not hungry." Suddenly, the TV turned on. Braden and Brandon, as well as the man who insulted Grimmjow and one of his friends turned. Jacob Fox was on the screen. "Have we been visited by visitors from another planet?", Fox asked. "That's what people around the world are asking following the discovery of a small blue dwarf-ish body on top of a car earlier today in Chicago. Found nearby were the ruins of what appear to be three manually-powered exoskeletons -- two of which contained burned bodies of what appear to be a young woman and a dog -- as well as a body that was later identified to be Doug Walker, more commonly known as the Nostalgia Critic. Witnesses claim that his last words involved him saying Dragon Ball Z sucks, so... we're not gonna miss him." Long John Silver's erupted in laughter. "Hah!", Kibaou said. "Serves him right!" "Much like 4Kids.", Brandon said. "Okay...", Jacob Fox said. "I've just been told that I am the funniest person on the planet right now. And on that bombshell, it's time to end. Good night!" THE END Donquixote Doflamingo was walking across a hall. When he approached a pair of doors, he simply kicked them open, revealing a man wearing a giant blue coat sitting behind a desk; on said desk was a strange-looking fruit and a flintlock. "You called, Trebol?", he asked. "Yes, Doffy!", Trebol said. "I have some things to give to you!" Trebol grabbed the flintlock and the fruit, giving them to Doflamingo. "Here's to the conquest of Dressrosa!", Trebol shouted. Doflamingo grabbed the fruit, raised it to his mouth, and took a large bite. He suddenly realized: the fruit tasted horrible! Nevertheless, he swallowed it. "Well, how is it?", Trebol asked. "Feel any different?" "There's a bad taste in my throat...", Doflamingo said. "...but other than that, no." "Nothing a bit of training won't fix!", Trebol said, placing his hand on Doflamingo's back as they both walked out. "Now, here's the situation..." Brandon will return in The Admins. Category:Tales of the AAA Category:Moderate Category:Rapids' Stuff